Internal Lessons

You'll take my life but I'll take yours too....

Initially it sounded like a pretty good idea to have an army of guitars to wake you,But I was starting to feel that it was a bad idea when my ears started sending urgent electric signals to my brain which was busy relaxing. Finally, when the electricity was a little too much for my brain,it relented by sending an electric signal of its own to my right hand which switched of my mobile's alarm. In hindsight, I think having The Trooper as your alarm isnt a good idea if you want your ears to function properly. But it does fulfill its function as an alarm.

So, due to the various electrical interferences inside and outside my body I woke up with a splitting headache.

I learnt the first lesson of the day,a lesson I had learnt a countless number of times earlier:

Never piss off your brain.

Still groggy from the headache and the noise pollution, I stumbled towards the bathroom to perform my morning activities. I noticed that there were enough mosquitoes in my room to lift and take me to a galaxy far far away. For the first time that morning electricity came to my rescue in the form of the mosquito bat...

No.. not mosquito mat.. mosquito bat...
Those nifty tennis racquet shaped bats which kill mosquitoes with a spark is the greatest invention since TV for slobs like me. It makes me do a little bit of a workout and also gets rid of the mosquitoes.

"Ore kallule Rendu Manga"( 2 mangoes from a single stone)

After finishing my morning tennis practice with mosquitoes(During which I made some brilliant top spinning forehands even Nadal would have be proud of), I turned towards my phone. Though I am not a member of the "The First Thing I Do When I Wake Up Is Check My Phone" group on Facebook, checking my phone does feature on my morning routine. There was a message from my friend, saying "macha did you do 7th question in qbnk???" I was thinking which subject which question bank???

Suddenly realization hit me like a truck travelling at 60kmph hitting a concrete wall(All you nerds reading this please don't calculate the force in Newtons). Today was the day of first internals.

Learnt the second lesson for the day: Feed internal dates dates in phone calendar

Furiously typed a message enquiring about the portions and sent it to my group of friends. Got a unanimous reply from all of them: Question Bank. (Some of them sent qb, others sent qbnk. But I inferred it was Question Bank)
Then as I was contemplating the pros and cons of the said message,another realization hit me like a truck hitting a concrete wall, but this time the speed was only 50kmph...

I did not have the question bank.

Gosh!!!! Aren't we in a pickle!!!!
Quickly realized that I am in this predicament because I have been watching too many British gangster movies... Well thats a bummer...

Somehow gathered my thoughts and made the first(and probably last) useful call of the day and got the question bank dictated to me over the phone.Finally I had something to work with. As a wise man once told "You cannot build bricks without clay". I had somehow obtained the clay.

But the wise man hadn't told me that the process of making bricks from clay is harder than obtaining the clay itself.

Oblivious to this fact,I started to study.

10 minutes into the task and I knew it was a fruitless,useless and thankless endeavour

So went to Plan B: Make Chits.
20 minutes into this task and i realised this was a arduous,onerous and unrequited undertaking...

So went to Plan C: make micro xerox.
This plan seemed to be the best one considering time available. Another motivating factor was that it involved little effort. Hence the next 20 minutes were spent finding out the answers to the questions, marking out the important portions and trying to figure out what all to photocopy.

After finishing the marking, Went down to the parking lot of the hostel. Had a look at the security guard who was sleeping(as usual), directly went to my bike and tried starting it. Bike did not start.. Think it was rebelling against me for the 3 yrs of misuse. The end result was that I had to walk to the xerox shop. Went to my usual xerox shop and found it closed.

Yenna kodumai sir idhu ( what torture is this)...

The tea stall next store was playing melancholic sitar chords filled tragedy songs.Guess even the RJ somehow sensed my pain and agony.
Made a mental note to open a 24-hour xerox shop if don't pass engineering.

Thankfully the xerox shop opened by 9.15 and i got most of the stuff xeroxed and somehow made it to the coll 20 minutes before the test started. Now the wall and bench art started. You see even though I had made micro xerox of almost all the probable questions, I wrote the other answers also on the bench. I would have been happy to pass the test 2 hours back but now I wanted to get full.

Student mentality...

The invigilator was looking like a rowdy from the Upendra movie Om. I was thinking not to use chits. But desperate times call for desperate measures, using prodigious skill I was copying from the xerox and somehow filling the pages in the blue book, when suddenly my classmate sitting beside me asked for the answer to the second question.I passed her the chits. She hadn't spoken to me for the past 3 years and now suddenly she was asking for chits. I was over the moon and started day dreaming.

Baad Idea....

Kuch Kuch Ho Gaya.... Kuch Kuch Kuch ho gaya...

Bari oolu!!!( All Rubbish)

Suddenly got interrupted by the invigilator's voice.

Sir...

Baro iili... How many times should I call you..

I had heard Baro illi as Bari oolu, Now my internal marks were going to be Bari oolu.

Whats in your calci??? Show it...
I was having the moment every engineering student dreads, getting caught for chits...

Chits aah.... Get out... I will tear and throw your blue book...

Learnt the third lesson for the day: Do not daydream during the day... I know... Its a paradox, But its true....

1 month later

Run to the hills!!! Run for your life!!!!

Ears sending Urgent electrical signals..... Truck hitting concrete wall..... Making micro xerox..... NOT getting caught for chits and getting chucked out of class....

Perpetual Deja vu....